I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
