I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
