is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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