I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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