He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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