just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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