Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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