so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
