When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
