she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
