tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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