Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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