he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just google imaged poop.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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