singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
sex in a hospital.. check
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize