have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
