you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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