Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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