i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
