and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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