party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
