Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
