You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
