just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
