...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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