currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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