Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
