Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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