He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
