My balls are so social today.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
