Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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