I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
