suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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