This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
