I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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