how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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