if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize