Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
