A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
