Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
