evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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