you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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