I'm jealous of your bromance
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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