i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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