he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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