After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
