Need sex. Gaining weight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
