your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
