having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
