He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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