Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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