maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
