My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
