Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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