But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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