Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
