i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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