How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
