I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
