You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
