She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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