i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
