Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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