I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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